I'm a little hesitant to post this -- it feels a little too revealing, but I think that upon meeting me, people sometimes don't see the entire picture.
I was total nerd as a kid. A the age of eight, I had 3 aquariums, pored over a two-and-a-half-inch thick book about tropical fish around the world. I knew more than one eight-year-old should know about tropical fish. Some little girls want to be nurses when they grow up, or ballerinas at that age. I wanted to be an ichthyologist. I did not know at the time that it would require an extensive college education, which my family could neither afford nor be supportive of. I dropped that idea when I realized it would not be possible -- or so I was told.
Then there was reading, which was an escape for me. I read the typical kids books at the time: Charlotte's Web, Little House on the Prairie, and the like. For some reason, that grew into a fascination with Agatha Christie and Stephen King's stories, then on to Tom Robbins as a young adult -- along with books by various Jungian Scholars, Bruce Chatwin and Alain de Botton. Aside from work, reading and painting in my twenties took precedence over everything else. I would turn down invitations from guys who I really liked because I preferred to finish the book I was reading or the painting I was working on. It wasn't that I didn't like them. I just had my priorities. I didn't realize that "I'm doing something else tonight" was code for "I'm not interested." Whoops.
As a child, I was also immensely creative -- my handmade holiday cards for my family were hand-drawn versions of holiday-themed advertisements. I made up my own little characters that I used to draw all over everything. I crocheted, drew, painted, made little sculptures out of clay and won awards in competitions for my creations. I even had a book of "experiments" for kids that could be done using household products like baking soda. I was all over that. This eventually led to getting A's in my art, science and English classes in high school.
I've always been a bit of a renaissance girl. My undergraduate degree in Computers in Fine Art, where code was the medium we used to make art and social commentary, was the perfect combination of art, literature and science to me. I am still a renaissance girl. Some things change with time. This has not.
It was as an adult that I realized I had to force myself to be social. That it was a good thing...a "healthy" thing to reach out to people, to make connections, to have a support network. To not care too much about being judged -- everyone judges others, by the way -- whether they admit it or not. It's just human nature. I became very good at being social and communicative. Too good at it. Working with people has become one the most challenging, yet rewarding and natural things I can do. Human connection is a powerful thing, and I predict that in the next year or so, people will be talking about more in a business context. I have just had to learn to be more discerning about who I choose as friends.
I meet a lot of people. Potentially allies. But how do I decide who are just "people I know" or "friends" -- "allies"? Allies are supportive -- what does that mean to you? To me, allies do not discourage you. Friends do not tell you that "you're not cut out for this" when you have been working as diligently as you can to learn something that you really want to learn. Instead they encourage you to believe in yourself and your ability when you're not feeling confident, but guide you in the right direction when you are headed off track. They make time for you. They show up. They do what they say they will. They are advocates for you. Friends do not give you all of the answers, but they don't let you sink or swim either. Allies do not take advantage of you by asking you to do free work. Friends stick around when things get tough for you, and you need to lean on them.
I give all this background because I want to emphasize the importance that if you are passionate about learning to code, don't let the naysayers stop you. It doesn't matter what your background is. Coding is not some sort of inherent "gift" for most people. It -- just like drawing -- is merely a learned skills. There are people working as professional developers who are more literary people -- and have degrees in things like journalism and philosophy. Don't let someone tell you -- You're not technical enough". If they do, ask them, "What do you mean by that?" Since they are obviously not seeing some sort of quality about you that they believe is a requirement. As my bootcamp instructor said about those who say things like "You're not technical enough.": Those people are assholes. Steer clear of them, and don't listen to them, and ask yourself if these are the type of people you really want to consider "friends" or "allies", especially if they don't know the whole story about what your talents and interests really are?
